If you are you a divorced or separated couple with children, do you ever find yourself struggling to communicate with one another effectively when there’s a disagreement? Perhaps expanding your known conflict resolution skills would assist you in moving toward conflict-free communication in regards to parenting your children.
Co-parenting is a challenge for all parents, even the most amicable of couples. The new and improved Our Family Wizard app provides an easy way to discuss the kids, keep activity calendars and improve your communication with several helpful functions.
Importance of Conflict-Free Communication for Co-Parenting Couples
We all know that conflict-free communication is better for the children, however it is also better for the co-parents.
Children who are exposed to constant conflict between their parents often suffer in several ways. Parents who fight or who seem to dislike each other tend to have children who struggle with their own emotions, relationships, and self-esteem.
Having a good co-parenting strategy is essential for keeping the whole family happy and healthy. It can be especially helpful for your kids if you have an effective way to communicate with their other parents about important dates, appointments, and deadlines. It can also help your children develop into healthier adults. You may not be together anymore, but it’s still vital that you’re able to work together to look after your children.
Communication Strategies for Co-Parenting Couples
If you’re in the process of co-parenting, you and the other parent will have to discuss many areas of parenting such as the parenting time with the children, transfer of the children from one parent to the other or to school and activities; medical, dental and optical care for the kids; school fees, extra-curricular activities, and so much, more more.
If you’re not on friendly terms though, communicating with the other parent is stressful and therefore, difficult. The harder it is, the more you all wish to avoid it and then that’s where more problems may arise.
Here are a few tips to make it easier:
- Don’t go into a conversation angry, (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired- from the 12-step programs the acronym is HALT) wait until you’ve had time to cool off, eat, rest or socialize.
- Use “I” statements instead of “You” statements, such as “I am concerned about ___ when this occurs”. That will assist you in placing blame and accusing your ex of anything and shift the responsibility to yourself.
- Never use your children as messengers. In the State Parenting Classes that are required this is the main premise because it is o damaging to children. Make sure you have your own lines of communication open, so you don’t put unnecessary pressure on the Children!
- Be open to compromise and take responsibility for your role in the situation. Sometimes that is hard to see to having another neutral person to discuss things before engaging with the other parent can be helpful to shift an entrenched point of view.
- Work as a team, because even though you’re no longer together as a couple, you are still united in being great co-parents to your children.
- If all else fails, try an app! The “Our Family Wizard” app makes communication easy by letting you create calendars, manage expenses together, and connect more positively. In fact, tools like ToneMeter™ can help to commit to keeping your communication positive and productive.
Why I Recommend the Our Family Wizard App
If you don’t want to use a co-parenting app because you think it’s just one more thing to do, give us a minute to explain. In reality, it’s less work than the alternative that is, constantly playing phone tag with your ex and continually having to explain the same things over and over again.
For most of our clients who were desperately seeking a better way to handle co-parenting communication, we recommend the Our Family Wizard app. It has proved to be an absolute lifesaver for them. It helps parents to keep an accurate record of all co-parenting communications and other important details, such as:
- Expense logs
- Journal entries
- Calendars
- Messaging archives
- Shared documents & photos
When you’re able to keep track of all this in one place that’s easily accessible from any device, it just makes life so much simpler.
Our Family Wizard has lots of features that make it easy to organize lives when you’re not together with your kids. For example, you can see each other’s calendars and easily schedule the time you spend with your kids. Another feature our clients love is the expense log—this lets you keep track of payments for your kids’ activities and medical bills.
How McMurdie Law & Mediation Can Help with Conflict-Free Communication for Co-Parenting Couples
Conflict-free communication is challenging when you are in the same room, let alone when you are parents of children who live in two different households.
This is where McMurdie Law & Mediation comes in. With over 20 years of experience dealing with these difficult situations, we have developed processes that allow for conflict-free communication between co-parents. If you’re facing such issues, contact McMurdie Law & Mediation to find out how we can help you through this difficult process.