The holiday season can be one of the most anticipated times of the year for children, yet for co-parents, it can also bring scheduling challenges that can cause stress and even heartache. Thanksgiving dinners, winter break, travel, family traditions, and special events can quickly compete for limited time.
That is why October is a good time to start planning.
Rather than waiting until Thanksgiving is around the corner, reviewing your parenting plan now gives both parents time to identify conflicts and work toward solutions. These holiday parenting schedule tips can help keep the focus where it belongs: creating an enjoyable holiday season for your children.
At McMurdie Law & Mediation, we help Arizona parents develop practical parenting arrangements and resolve disagreements before they become larger conflicts.
Start With Your Existing Parenting Plan
Before making holiday plans, review your current parenting plan or court order.
Many parenting plans contain specific provisions for Thanksgiving, winter school break, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year’s, and other holidays. A holiday schedule may also take priority over the regular parenting-time schedule.
Make sure both parents understand what the existing plan requires before booking flights, inviting relatives, or promising the children where they will spend a particular day.
If the language is unclear, address that uncertainty early rather than waiting until the holiday arrives.
Look at the Entire Holiday Season
One of the best holiday parenting schedule tips is to look beyond individual holidays.
Thanksgiving may be the first major scheduling issue, but winter break often requires considerably more coordination. Parents may need to account for:
- Children’s Holiday festivities and concerts
- School dismissal and return dates
- Thanksgiving and winter-break parenting time
- Christmas Eve and Christmas Day
- Hanukkah or other religious and cultural observances
- New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day
- Family gatherings and annual traditions
- Vacation and travel plans
Looking at the entire calendar makes it easier to spot conflicts before they become urgent.
Decide How Exchanges Will Work
A parenting schedule may look reasonable on paper until transportation is factored in.
If children are expected to transfer between homes during a holiday, parents should know where and when exchanges will occur and who is responsible for transportation.
Consider the child’s experience, too. Dividing every holiday precisely in half may seem fair to the adults, but multiple exchanges in one day can make a holiday hectic for children.
Sometimes alternating holidays from year to year, dividing winter break into longer blocks, or celebrating on a different day creates a more relaxed experience.
Plan Holiday Travel Early
Travel adds another layer of planning, particularly when one parent wants to leave Arizona.
Review your parenting plan for provisions concerning travel, notice, itineraries, passports, or other requirements. International travel can raise additional legal and logistical considerations.
Parents should discuss proposed travel as early as possible and share whatever information their parenting plan requires.
Waiting until airfare is purchased to raise the subject can turn a manageable conversation into a dispute.
Make Room for Family Traditions
After divorce or separation, parents sometimes feel pressure to preserve every holiday tradition exactly as it existed before. That may not always be realistic.
Children can benefit from maintaining meaningful traditions, but they can also enjoy creating new ones in each household.
A holiday celebration does not necessarily have to occur on the calendar date to be special. Thanksgiving can happen on Friday. A family gift exchange can happen the weekend before Christmas. Flexibility can give children meaningful time with extended family without creating unnecessary competition between parents. There are so many creative ways to ensure that everyone has their holidays plans fulfilled.
Most importantly, children should not feel responsible for choosing where to spend a holiday or managing a parent’s disappointment.
Keep Holiday Expenses Separate From Parenting Time
The holidays also bring additional expenses, including gifts, travel, special events, and seasonal activities.
Unless your parenting plan or another agreement provides otherwise, avoid assuming that the other parent will automatically split a particular expense. Discuss larger costs before committing to them.
Parents may also want to coordinate major gifts, particularly when children are younger. The goal does not need to be identical spending in each household. Clear communication simply helps avoid misunderstandings and unnecessary competition.
What If Your Holiday Schedule No Longer Works?
Families change. Work schedules shift, children grow older, relatives move, and traditions evolve. A holiday arrangement that worked several years ago may no longer make sense. These are facts that are best faced without blame and a desire to keep things celebratory recognizing that change is normal.
Parents can sometimes agree on practical adjustments. However, an informal agreement does not necessarily modify the underlying court order. If a significant or lasting change is needed, it is important to understand whether the parenting plan should be formally modified.
If parents cannot reach an agreement, mediation can provide a structured setting to brainstorm a solution to the holiday challenge.
Mediation Can Help Before the Holidays Arrive
Holiday disagreements will be easier to address in October than the week before Thanksgiving and give family members time to adjust and problem solve.
Mediation allows parents to discuss scheduling, travel, exchanges, traditions, and other concerns with the assistance of a neutral mediator. It can also help parents develop clearer expectations for future holidays instead of revisiting the same dispute every year.
With more than 30 years of Arizona family law experience, McMurdie Law & Mediation helps parents develop practical, child-focused solutions through family mediation.
Plan Now for a More Peaceful Holiday Season
The holidays do not have to become a competition over parenting time. Planning early, communicating clearly, and remaining flexible when appropriate can make the season easier for parents and children alike.
If your existing schedule is creating conflict, now is the time to address it. McMurdie Law & Mediation can help you review your options, mediate disagreements, and develop a workable plan before the holiday season is in full swing.
Contact McMurdie Law & Mediation to schedule a consultation or mediation session and start your holiday planning now.
Frequently Asked Questions About Holiday Parenting Schedules
Does the holiday parenting schedule override our regular schedule?
Often, parenting plans specify that designated holiday parenting time takes priority over the regular schedule. The answer depends on the language of your particular parenting plan or court order, so review it carefully before making plans. Most often, special holidays to take precedence.
Can we agree to change the holiday schedule for this year?
Parents can agree to practical scheduling changes, but it is wise to document the agreement clearly by writing an addendum to your parenting plan that is dated and signed by all parties. A temporary agreement also does not necessarily change the existing court order for future years.
What should we do if both parents want the same holiday?
Start with the existing parenting plan. If it does not resolve the issue, parents may consider alternatives such as alternating the holiday, dividing time when practical, or celebrating on different days. Mediation can help when parents cannot reach an agreement.
When should we start discussing Thanksgiving and winter break?
As early as possible. October is an ideal time to confirm Thanksgiving and winter-break schedules, discuss travel, and resolve potential conflicts before reservations and family plans become difficult to change.